Purging
Preparing to move has opened my eyes to one key fact: I have a lot of stuff! And most of it is stuff that I don’t use or think about!!! It’s a strange thing, looking around at my accumulated items and pondering their value. Do I keep things that I don’t love, just because they serve a function? What about things that I do love but that are impractical? Or items that I keep for their sentimental value, what do I do with those?
I’ve moved upwards of fifteen times in the past decade, but I’ve lived in the same place now for about 2 1/2 years. The constant moving forced me to purge for the better part of my early twenties, and kept me honest on which items I needed and which I didn’t. Hunkering down in my apartment for the past few years, however, has caused me to hang on to things that bring little to my life… aside from taking up space. And although I’ve never been a “stuff” person, I find myself reluctant to purge as much as I want and need to. What is it, exactly, that makes us hang on to junk? I’m annoyed by it, yet I lack the conviction to let go. What is that?
I have a habit of living in fear of the what-ifs of life. “What if I get hungry later,” I worry, and then eat the third piece of french toast. “What if I regret not buying it later,” I fret before sliding my bank card across the counter for another impulse purchase. I’m getting better, having acknowledged those two particular habits, but I still notice my inner monologue cautioning against certain things, using the what-if as evidence to make a point. “What if my daughter wants to play dress-up one day, and I don’t have every single one of my old prom dresses? What if I want to read this trashy paperback book again in five years, and I don’t have access to a library? What if I throw a dinner party for more than eight people and have to use paper plates because I got rid of these ugly old dishes? Whatever will happen then???”
Writing it down, looking at it now on the computer screen, I see how ridiculous this is. I’m keeping at least one of my prom dresses (the one my mother spent countless hours making). Chances are, I will never read most of these paperbacks again. And if I throw a dinner party, I’ll get some nice biodegradable paper plates. And as for the IKEA furniture, I hope in three years I’ll have the financial ability to replace it anyway. Why keep it in pieces in the top of a closet, just to throw it out three years from now?
I’m sure I’ll throw out one or two things that I’ll think back on later with longing. But I’m also pretty sure I’ll get over it. Stuff is just stuff, and I can always get more. But I can’t get back the stress on my brain of feeling owned by my belongings, and so I purge. And I’ll keep purging until it feels good again.
Filed under: "Deep thoughts"
i’m having this same brain waves right now. i have no attachment to any of my “stuff” but i don’t want to not have it either. like: i got this papasan chair when i was 21 … who cares if its clunky and filled with cat hair! it’s comfortable and part of my life! i’m also a “what if i get hungry later” person, which means i have to carry a clif bar in my purse at all times.
this is one of those posts where i was like: oh my gosh! me, too! through the whole thing.
What is it, exactly, that makes us hang on to junk?
Holes. Holes make us hold onto stuff we don’t need.
If you purge all the crap you don’t need, then there are holes on your shelves, on your walls, in your closet. Holes that need to be filled. Empty holes make you feel incomplete, full holes make you feel complete.
I tend to binge and purge. That is, I purge all kinds of stuff out of the house then I notice I have all this space — holes — so I go and fill it up again. It’s a bad cycle to get into and very difficult to get out of.
I know the impulse. For so long I had so little money, that I hung on to stuff because I worried that if I threw it out, there would come a time when I would need that thing (an old bridesmaids dress….what if I unexpectedly get invited to a fancy ball?), I wouldn’t be able to buy a new one.
It’s going around, because I’m in “purge” mode right now too. Luckily, a friend & myself are having a garage sale in a few weeks, so at least I’ll make a few $$ on all of it.
I kind of forgot how much junk is in our office closet and guest room closet, but now that we have to make room for another person in our house, we definitely have to get rid of some stuff! I am actually looking forward to it.
That’s why I used to move so often — just so that I could purge stuff. Best of luck!
I totally sympathize with you. I’m a sucker for holding on to useless things simply because I can remember exactly who gave it to me, or when I got it, or whatever other story goes along with it. It’s hard to purge, but I’ve found it has been so refreshing when I’ve allowed myself to let go of things. Because like you said, it’s only stuff. Good luck!
Good for you! I have spent many years being a minimalist, only to move in with the biggest pack rat on the planet. Figures.
I’m really proud of you for purging. A lot of times it’s hard to get rid of thing that have no practical value at all but was a gift from someone and that small bit of sentimental value is enough to keep it from being gotten rid of. Try to remember that the person that gave it to you did not want it to be a burden.
Also, I trust you’re not actually trashing these thigns you want to get rid of? Surely you’re putting it in a box labeled “FREE” on your sidewalk, craigslisting it, freecycling or thriftstoring?
When I moved to HI I had more computers than clothes.
Excellent point, Sandy! Nothing is being “landfilled,” never you fret! I’ve already made two Goodwill trips, and have made about $100 on Craigslist. WOOT!
Purging is good. Besides, leaves room for new stuff. Ok, wait. That’s the wrong thing to say. But still, like they say on Clean Sweep, if you keep stuff but don’t honor it by displaying it properly, it’s not something you need. We sometimes put too much importance on stuff when really the memory lives inside of us.
You know, I go through those exact revelations every single time I move…yet, I settle down again, and accomulate more stuff…especially books, those are just so hard to get rid of!! Good luck on the purging!!
Because it costs more to buy it than you get when you sell it.
I want to get rid of a bunch of my stuff, but I don’t want to have to buy something again that I already had and take a loss. But getting rid of stuff feels so good.
i am living the whole moving every 6-9 months, condensing my stuff into a car and the back of a pick up truck. i can’t wait for the day when i get settle in and collect some stuff i might not need. purging is always good - but sometimes it’s nice to hold onto little things, just because.
hey lady. belated congrats on your move!! what neighborhood are you moving to? you must spill!
I hear ya! I did a massive purge back in 2004 because I thought I was going to move to either here (SF) or DC… when that didn’t happen, I bought brand new VERY nice stuff in the spring of 2005 - only to sell it again (or give away/burn it) in the summer of 2007 when I finally made the plunge to SF. While I’m practically squatting now (OK, I’m on a lease and I have my own room), I must say that I love the minimalist lifestyle. We humans (er, Americans) have WAY TOO MUCH SHIT.
And I just realized that I never responded to your email re: Billy (I was probably drunk) - from what I can recall, they’re not so easy to disassemble… unless you live near Nob Hill?